Original Sin

As a little kid, I heard someone tell the reaction of another little kid in Sunday School. His Daddy was a Marine. The Nun was telling the story of the Crucifixion, and the little kid got all worked up, started to cry, and yelled out, "But, but, where were the Marines?"

My little kid's mind was like his. I just couldn't get it. "Original Sin? You mean whatever  my own father did that was bad leaves a stain on my soul, too, even before I was born?"

And Sister said, "No, no, just what our first parents did. Adam and Eve."

"Oh! like inheriting? Were they Irish, too?"

"Well, no, dear, they were, um, … gosh, I'm not sure what or where they were, " stammered the Nun.

A little girl piped up, "My auntie says it was Africa and they wuz coloreds an' that's why what they did was so bad."

"Nancy, don't say that word. They are Negros. And besides, I think the Garden of Eden was in Babylon or Persia or someplace like that."

"Wuz it purty?" asked Nancy.

I squirmed, "So what? Who cares what color they were? So, we're bleached, right? But, when Eve ate that apple and got Adam to take a bite, God was really put out, wasn't he?  Wasn't  Negro, huh?"

The Nun raised the three foot ruler in her gnarled fist and gave me that look. I ducked. And cradled my head with my arms, thinking, "She's as mean as God was."

But, she changed her mind, put the thing down and smiled at me, "Paulie . . . "

I hated being called that  and got bold enough to say so, "Sister, I don't like being called Paulie. My first name's Emanuel. You wouldn't call me Manny, would you? I'm only six."

Luckily for me, she laughed, "Paul, the sin they did was serious, the most serious in the whole wide world. God told them not to eat the forbidden fruit. But, they did. They ate the apple."

"How can eating an apple be a sin?" my little voice trembled.

"It wasn't eating the apple, dear, it was disobeying God."

The girl next to me, the one with the cute dimples, jumped in, "Sister!  Sister! We disobey our mother and dad all the time at home, and it's not that bad," To protect me, I thought.

"Can I go on, Sister?"

And when she nodded Yes, I wound up and let her rip, "OK. OK. Adam and Eve disobeyed on eating fruit. They didn't kill anyone, though. Cain wasn't even born yet. No beating God up with dirty punches. No lies like We did not eat any apples. Who says so? All they did was disobey a tiny little thing about not eating an apple. And for that God tossed them out of Paradise and then he stained the soul of every single baby born since that day, right down to now? That's not fair." And I shut up.

"Well, children, the Bible says so."

"Yah, but, the Bible says, too, that's why Jesus had to be born a baby in Bethlehem, because God felt the insult on disobedience was so big and huge that no human being could ever make it up. If 'n God gets insulted, only a God or his Son can wipe it out. " And I sounded a little too smart in my own ears.

"Oh, Paul, now you're changing the subject to Redemption and Atonement, "Sister was wiggling a bit herself now.

"Huh?" was all I could come up with. But I took a deep breath and went right on, "An insult isn't that bad, Sister. Sticks and stone will break my bones, but names will never hurt me. And Eve was sorry. So was Adam. But God wouldn't even listen to them, turned down their being sorry and  what's that word that old Bible uses all the time – snoot? – no, I got it – smote – he smote 'em. Not just them. All of us. Everybody in the whole wide world. Still doing it. Over a lousy little insult? I still think it's not fair."

She raised the ruler, but my eyes were closed tight in a fierce little kid's thinking hard and I kept right on pouring out the words, "And you know what? It gets worse, real worse. God knows everything, even what's going to happen tomorrow. And so he knew when he sent his own Son down here, they were going to whip him and beat him and crown him with thorns and then nail him to a cross. God killed his own kid. Over an insult? And even after, when Jesus made it up by dying like that, God didn't forgive anything and kept that darn stain, the um the uh original one, on all our souls anyway. Never took the stain off. Doesn't make sense." I was crying now. "Does it?"

"Paulie, Paulie! SHUT UP! RIGHT NOW!"

She was waving that ruler like a two handed big sword and I knew she wasn't going to hit me. She was starting to cry. Gee, I felt sorry for what I did. So I whimpered, "Sister, Sister, why did God do that? Why?"

Just then, the big fat Monsignor rolled in, "Hi, there, kiddies, how we doing this morning? Know your Catechism good?  Good. Good Little Kids. Now, let's all stand up and say the Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be together. Then you can go outside and play. Kay?"

I didn't feel like playing, but I thought his timing was good. On the way out to play, I got all mixed up again, wondering, "How come the Monsignor and Sister keep calling us Good Little Kids, when they know we're awfully bad to begin with?"