State of New America
Superior Court
Criminal Division
*
State v. Cardinal Ignotus
Docket: 2009-03-16
*
Hon. Wisdom, C.J. Presiding
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TRANSCRIPT - March 16, 2009, 1:00, p.m.
CROSS-EXAMINATION OF GOD
Court: Direct exam having been concluded by Defense Counsel for the Cardinal, we will now proceed to Cross-Examination by the Prosecuting Attorney for State.
Q. Your name is God?
A. Yes.
Q. And you are under oath here today?
A. Yes.
Q. To whom did you swear that oath, sir?
A. Myself.
Q. Clever. . .
Defense Counsel: Objection. Badgering the Witness.
Court: Sustained.
Q. Why are you here on a trial of a Cardinal for obstructing justice?
A. I was asked to be a character witness.
Q. Are you under subpoena?
A. No, my appearance is voluntary.
Q. You have already testified to the Cardinal's character. Now I would like to inquire into your own. Where do you live, God?
A. Everywhere.
Q. I see. And how long have you lived there?
A. Since time began. Before that, Eternity.
Q. Well, now, Sir, those are mighty .....
Defense Counsel. Objection, may it please the Court. Badgering.. Bantering, too.
Court. Sustained, on the first ground. Second is to be ignored.
Prosecuting Attorney. Withdraw the question, anyway, Your Honor, and pardon my obtuseness, but this is a bit difficult for me, with such a witness.
Court: Just be yourself, Counselor. Please proceed.
Q. Did you blow up Krakatoa?
A. No.
Q. Who did?
A. It did.
Q. You created the world?
A. Yes.
Q. And Krakatoa?
A. Yes. It was included.
Q. When?
A. A few billion years ago. You could call it a Big Bang.
Q. Well, God, I shall. You like Bangs? Volcanoes, tornadoes, ice caps, global warming, expanding universe?
A. Yes.
Q. Whew. Let's see. You are, of course, responsible for all the good that is in the world?
A. No. People are.
Q. I suppose, then, you will say that People are responsible for all the bad that is in the world, too?
A. Yes.
Q. How can you have it both ways, God? You made the world. And you made the People?
A. That's right.
Q. But that's a contradiction?
A. Is it?
Q. Please answer me, God. I am not allowed to answer your questions.
A. Would you, then, Counselor, call this cross-examination a one way street?
Q. Oh! God . . . .
Defense Counsel: Objection. May it please the Court. Is that an exclamation or a prayer?
Court: Overruled. Both of you! Restrain yourselves. This is a most unusual witness. Proceed.
Q. Sorry, Your Honor, sorry. Where was I? Oh! Yes. Let me get this straight, God. You created the world. So, you created everything in it?
A. Yes.
Q. Good, bad, indifferent? Suffering? Death? Destruction? Cataclysms? Cathedrals? Evil?
God's Counsel rises.
Court. Don't bother. Sit down.
A. Yes.
Q. And so, you must be responsible?
A. Yes.
Q. I don't get it.
A. You will.
Q. Did your Cardinal get it, God?
A. Not yet.
Q. Why?
A. Counselor, trial lawyers are never to ask "Why?" You know that.
Q. Why?
A. The answer might cause you to lose your case.
Q. Forget the case, God, this is a search for truth.
A. I am Truth.
Q. I suppose you are also Way?
A. Yes.
Q. Life?
A. Yes.
Q. Light, too?
A. Yes.
Q. Any other names you use, God?
A. I Am.
Prosecuting Attorney. No further questions, Your Honor, of this witness. Counselor, you may inquire of your client.
Defense Counsel. No need, thank you. We've met. And, Brother, God is not my client. God is God.
Court. We will take a recess now. Counsel in Chambers for Motions to
Dismiss.
[End Transcript in Courtroom, March 16, 1:45, P.M. ]
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HEARING IN CHAMBERS - Not transcribed - March 16, 2009, 2: 15, p.m.
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TRANSCRIPT - March 16, 2009, 3:04, p.m.
RULING OF COURT
Court. After hearing in Chambers, Motions to Dismiss are denied. The Court finds the Witness to be incredible.
-End-
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